Struggle and Self Doubt

One month from now is Wizard World St. Louis. I'm not ready. I have so many personal projects I want to display. I have The Rough and Tumble to prop up. I have a lifetimes worth of skills, talent and hard work to show and sell to people. 

Monday and Tuesday of this week I worked for roughly 12 hours on a single piece. That's a lot for one piece. It was a double page spread to be used as a new cover for TR+T. I hate it. I like parts of it, but as a whole I hate it. Everyone else on my team says I'm crazy. Maybe I am.

Last night, after failing to get this damn motorcycle started, I tried to come home and get back to work. I stared at a blank Photoshop page on one screen and youtube repeats on the other. Just spaced out. Unmotivated. Defeated. I know what I want to draw, but I fear starting because I know the end result won't look like what I want it to look like. 

It's setting in hard. I'm sleeping more. Not answering my phone. Eating less. It's sinking it's teeth into me and I need to shake it loose. Time is money. I have projects I haven't even started yet, new and old. 

I've got work to do. People to reach. Stories to tell.

The create struggle is winning right now.

Come see me at Comic Con to see how I come out the other side.

Until then, buy me a drink when you see me. I'll probably need it.

~Ben